Putting a magazine like Surf Europe together is akin to producing the ultimate Carlsberg dinner. You take the best ingredients, use the latest utensils, and get the world’s best chefs to stick it all together and bosh, there it is, a succulent feast of meaty produce.

Sometimes you have a few ingredients lying about once it’s all been knocked up. That’s what happened when Paul Evans and Alex Laurel produced ‘The Middle Sea’ article in this month’s magazine. So, if you're too empoverished to fork out a measely £3.50 for the latest in surfing brilliance, here are some tasty left overs. For more from this month, go HERE. Better still, subscribe to surfing gold HERE "THE ESSENCE OF LIFE IS THE SMILE OF ROUND FEMALE BOTTOMS, UNDER THE SHADOW OF COSMIC BOREDOM" - Guy de Maupassant

'HOW ARE THE WAVES AT LA NORD?' ASKS THEIR MIDDLE-AGED COMMANDING OFFICER, WEAPON BLACK AND SHINY IN ITS HOLSTER, SURELY TRYING TO WRONG FOOT US INTO SOME KIND OF CONFESSION.

WE HAD A CONNECTION, WHO ASSURED THE OTHERS THAT WE WERE OK, EVEN SO, SOMEONE WOULD MAKE LAUREL PROMISE NOT TO NAME THE SPOT ABOUT ONCE EVERY FIVE MINUTES THROUGHOUT THE DAY.