Just a few days before leaving for the Oakley Pro QS at Lowers, and just a few days after Charly Martin — also competing at Trestles this week — was taken out by a leashless, five-finned lunatic, Maxime Huscenot was almost written off by an errant stand-up paddle board whilst surfing the beaches of Hossegor. The damage? A torn muscle in his arm where the SUP hit him and a recommended 3-6 weeks out of the water. A fist up the bum sounds like a picnic in comparison. Maxime travelled to California regardless, and even though he knows he won’t be 100% is going to surf in the contest anyway.

But might something more sinister not be afoot? Two of France’s brightest young prospects for world tour qualification, both involved in dangerous collisions caused by the egregious incompetence of alternative surf craft users, on the eve of the first 10,000 point QS event of the season — this is the kind of seemingly innocuous coincidence that sets alarm bells ringing in the mind of the skeptical journalist standing vigil over the truth. Alarm bells in the form of probing questions such as: are we witnessing an anti-French conspiracy? Has the WSL contracted an army of highly-skilled hitmen posing as SUPs, goatboaters and kooks to maim French pro surfers one by one in a series of apparent accidents? Is Paul Speaker a raging Francophobe? What exactly is it that Graham Stapleberg has against our froggy friends?

Mere speculation at this stage, of course, but these are not the only signs of an anti-French agenda in surfing’s corridors of power. I need hardly remind you of Benjamin Sanchis’s non-nomination for Biggest Wave of the Year, an omission which was apparently due to an administrative oversight, and which prompted fellow French big-wave surfer Gautier Garanx to suggest that Sancho’s nationality had worked against him.

Scroll down for Maxime’s account of the collision, and for a recent clip of said froggy friends, Charly Martin among them, warming up for Trestles at a tantalising little left somewhere on the French coast. Directly below, for those who have not yet seen it, is Charly Martin’s aforementioned encounter with a projectile surfboard, from which he emerged unscathed only by the grace of God:

Here’s Maxime’s Facebook post that accompanied the photos at the top of the page:

“2 days before I leave to Trestle for the first QS10 000 of the season, I was surfing in Hossegor. As you can see on the top photo while I was surfing a wave, a paddle board that was trying to go at the back, fall off and threw his board in my wave. I didn’t see it coming and it hit me in my front right arm the one I’m using in my bottom turn… I went straight to do X-Ray with Dr Gelez that luckily take care of me really quickly and find out I have a tear muscle from the impact. 3 to 6 weeks it’s what it takes to recover perfectly… Physical therapist Mr Lasne Remy help me out to dry out it as much as possible before the plane. I luckily find a rad place here in San Clemente since I arrived and the crew at @dscelitesurf has been doing amazing job to try to help me out. Thanks so much to Dr Gelez and Dr Lasne to help me out in france the day before I leave and @kevyndean @ksor_fit @scottkennaugh to help me out here to heal as quickly as possible!

I’m not going to be 100% but I won’t give it up!!! Now let’s hope for some fun waves at the contest starting on Tuesday! Can’t wait! #frothing #letsdoit #donttrytostopapaddleboard”