This year has been the year of the surfer-on-surfer beef. We’ve had JOB vs Dos Santos, we’ve had Wassel vs Tahitian bodyboard federation, we’ve had Tomo vs Mayhem, we’ve had Laird vs Skindog… well now it’s time for surfing’s latest fascinating set-to.

This one has it all in terms of polarised incarnations of surf dude: Youth vs nearly 40, Goofy vs regular, Brazil vs Australia, Catholic vs. prob not really, fresh face vs ZZ Top style beard, black hair & tan vs anaemic ginger. Worlds – hey no – universes apart…

From the outset it looks all too predictable an outcome. The zealous young Brazilian, fired up for a pending surfing tournament (Cascais Billabong Prime) at the very surf break (Carcavelos) has performed a ‘drop in’ and looks all set to fly down the line and punt a huge air while Young surely straightens out meekly, wheezing from the strain of the paddle battle and some two decades of Marlboro Light usage…

Things have just got even worse for the hapless Young. Rather than straighten out submissively, he’s defiantly gone for the attempted pump-around-Medina on his 5’4″ cork/epoxy constructed Stretch quad, and it’s a decision that looks like ending up in an unceremonious ‘wipe-out’ in the Portuguese drink. Not only are these waters chilly, after rainfall they’re also filthy. Yikes!

But wait! What’s this? Young has recovered from the precarious lurch and is now looking down the line to perform a radical, spray-throwing manoeuvre ‘to the criteria’, whilst poor Gabs will be forced to straighten out in the whitewater, glowing in a radioactive green Rip Curl steamer. Given that he has previous for blubbing at Portuguese beach breaks, there could be water works!

Neither surfer was available for comment, but one eyewitness said, “I reckon it was Gabriel’s fault really, he was being a bit of a tool, but then again the other guy has red hair, so…”

Stay tuned for the various sectarian Vimeo responses, message board hate, counter-responses and of course, the hilarious spoofs!