DAY 1

Dear Diary. We went for a quick surf around the corner. The waves were small but fun and we got a couple. My board wasn’t going that well, I’ll ride a different one tomorrow. I decided to write a diary as well, as you can see. I also decided to drink beer again and to work hard on being a nicer person. No more Selfish Me or Poor Me Syndrome.

DAY 2

Dear Diary. The swell came up over night and we went to a wave called Hideaways. I kept on going for the wide ones and they kept on slamming me onto the reef. There was a fat guy in the water as well, and he was quite intimidating. A beautiful girl paddled out and got me all confused. I’m here primarily to surf and become a nice person, but my imagination was letting me down.

DAY 3

Dear Diary. Surfed a great little wave called 4 Bobs, right in front of the resort. The wave itself was a bit slack, but the coral reef was very shallow and it was just the two of us. Jake pulled off a carving 360 and the rest of my session was marred by jealousy. I’ve been trying to do one for years. He made me look stupid. I think he did it on purpose. I decided in the water that I was going to do something cultural tomorrow, to enrich my soul. It looks like I have lost some more hair. Next time I must bring a helmet.

DAY 4

Dear Diary. Decided to have a day of rest today, but the waves were just so good. Went across to Nipussi and snagged a good barrel on my second wave. Lots of people saw it, which made my heart swell with pride, I felt like a surfer again. I drank so much beer in the evening that my stomach swelled up like a pillow and I couldn’t eat dinner, I contemplated making myself vomit before dinner but that would mean that I was sick, or weird, so I refrained.

DAY 5

Dear Diary. We went across to Burger World today. It was a bit big, but there were some wide ones that were doubling up and tubing. Got one nice barrel but didn’t come out. The wipeout felt quite bad and held me under for a while until I stopped to think about it: it’s a 3ft day at a place called Burger World. I smoked a Gudang, and then felt disgusted with myself and all light-headed. Jake slipped his disc today and is going to be out of the water for about 4 days. That’s karma for the carving 360.

DAY 6

Dear Diary. Some more people arrived at the resort today. Two guys from South Africa and two guys from Australia. Two girls arrived as well. They are beautiful and single. They must be retarded. Why would they come out here to hang out with a bunch of surfing desperados? The South African guys seem very grumpy and complain a lot. I must remember not to complain when I get back home. I must also remember to be a nice person. I drank so much beer again my stomach felt like a bloody hot air balloon, and I couldn’t eat dinner again.

DAY 7

Dear Diary. Jake blocked the bloody toilet with a massive shit. This irritated me a lot. I also took a sleeping tablet last night and I was feeling bad-tempered this morning. The blocked shitter did nothing to help. Jake thought it was very funny. The waves were firing today, and we surfed Beng-Bengs and A-Frames. I took great delight in telling Jake how good it was. He scowled at me a lot, but he had been drinking, so I didn’t push him. I told him to shower though coz he stunk of sweat, and he told me to fuck off. Jake’s a great guy.

DAY 8

Dear Diary. The left was going mental. I was too scared to get any good ones, and this older guy got some sick barrels in front of me. It was a bit embarrassing, but I managed to get into one small barrel in front of a water photographer. He got the shot. I’m stoked. I’ve got a fridge shot to take home to show my wife that I actually was surfing and not doing a Brokeback Mountain fishing trip with my mates. I drank too much of the local coffee and spent quite a bit of time on the loo before dinner. Jake was surfing again, and he went off to Nipussi for the evening glass-off. I drank a glass full of Jack Daniels and nodded off. What a crazy day Diary. Speak to you tomorrow.

DAY 9

Dear Diary. Last day today and what a day it’s been. I got the sickest barrel of my trip at a secret wave around the corner, and out of the 6 guys surfing with me, no one saw it. Unbelievable. They probably did see it but didn’t want to acknowledge it because it was such a good barrel. Bastards. Jake made a funny comment on the way back in the boat as to how I ‘apparently’ got a good barrel but we have to take my word for it because no one saw it. What a prick. It has been a great trip altogether though, and Jake and I have bonded well. Dear Diary, I’ll speak to you when I get home. I’ve got a plane to catch and lots of Indonesian porters to tip. Looking forward to our trip to Madagascar later on in the year.

Jarvi spent his time at the Kandui Resort.

www.kanduiresort.com