Adrian ‘Ace’ Buchan on England’s Ashes Humiliation

His thoughtful 2007 analysis is as true now as it was then

“Faarrrking Pommy caaarrrrnnntss!” Photo: Getty

I am aware that some people do not consider cricket to be a worthwhile pursuit, just as some people think that stand-up paddleboarding is a worthwhile pursuit, or that thunk is the past participle of think. This post is not for them.

In 2007, near the beginning of his world-tour career, a young Adrian ‘Ace’ Buchan wrote a blog for Surf Europe, in which he kept the Euro surf community abreast of goings-on and goings-off around the surfing world — a kind of roving correspondent, if you will. Occasionally, too, he would broach subjects not directly related to surfing. His first ever post is republished below in full. It was written almost exactly eleven years ago, but its content is almost as pertinent now as it was then; indeed, it could well have been written today.

In the winter of 2006-07, the England cricket team suffered a whitewash in the Ashes, which means Australia won five Test matches to England’s none, which means England got fucking battered. In this winter’s Ashes in Australia, England did at least managed to draw a test, meaning we went into the final test at Sydney only 3-0 down, having avoided a whitewash. Today, England lost that test by an innings and 123 runs. Australia captain Steve Smith averaged 137 in the series.

We laugh, that we may not cry — and, also, because Adrian Buchan belongs to that category of men affectionately known, in the vernacular of that most upside-down, back-to-front of nations, as funny cunts.

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Howzit everyone? Hope you’re keeping it really real… (too bad the Poms couldn’t in the Ashes!)

I was at a Uni class the other day and the lecturer was asking all the peeps what their Daddys did for a living… Everyone gave out the standard answers: fireman, policeman, baker, etc, until a Pommy kid called Sammy said: “My daddy stands on dark corners late at night in tight leather getups trying to take home men, and sometimes if they like him he’ll make a quid or two for the evening…”

The teacher pulled him aside and and said “Sammy, is that really what your daddy does?”

He replied: “No miss he plays for the English cricket team, I was just too embarassed to say.”

I’m up at Burleigh heads at the moment for a Junior event …even did a bit of work on the mic today!

Life’s good just getting pumped for a big year! I’m about to cut this one off but you’ll be hearing more from me soon!



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