Every surf in every season presents a potential discomfort – if not genuine hazard – to your favourite urino-excretory organs.
Winter is no exception; the cold presents a whole set of challenges to your privates.
The whole reason your gonad(s) dangle down – the only organ not contained within your body itself – is temperature regulation.
As you are well aware, they swing lower (like dogs’) in warm weather, and cosy up to your pubis in chillier climes. If that wasn’t enough, your hoop is at risk from the cold in the form of veins popping out of the ring, while your winkle is assaulted by chill and shrinks to combat the falling mercury.
1. Cheesewire pubes. This occurs in the surf when your wiener shrinks, your pubic mane gets caught up, and then when your old boy warm and swells, your pubes ensnare themselves under the forey, effectively trying to cheesewire your skin. Almost no prevention, other than to trim those pubes, which should do anyway, coz it makes your dong your more impressive.
2. Cold bell end against leg. In cold water, your whole manhood gets cold, and warms up more slowly than the rest of you. You might find, driving home, your dome rests against your warmer thigh, like an ice cube. Uncomfortable, rather than dangerous. We consulted sages who reckon the only way around this was brief-style cacks as opposed to boxers.
3. Shrinkage. Shrinkage isn’t dangerous physiologically, but, can damage your carefully fostered rep as a legendary cocksman, like, if there are girls around and you change without towel. See (1)
4. Rough towel on cold sack. When drying, you use a non-fabric conditioned surf towel and rub it too hard on your somewhat numb scrotum. After about 3.5 seconds delay, an awful burn assaults the scrotum. Ouch! Dry carefully, more caution less haste, and don’t be afraid to use Lenor or some of those Bounce thingies in the tumble dryer…