If you stay at home probably the biggest risk of disease comes from the sexually transmitted variety. Now this isn’t to be laughed at (and if you have ever had a 16 inch scraper-topped needle threaded down your 3rd eye you’ll know why) but at least you have the option of self-protection, be it through safe sex, or being as ugly as sin.

In Indo on the other hand, disease seems to be lurking and spitting at every corner. From rabid dogs, to amoeba ridden ice cubes, to malaria laden mosquitos and a million other tropical diseases suffixed by -itis, this place is teeming with life threatening potential. In fact most people count themselves lucky if they return from Indonesia with just a case of the high grade brown squirts and a belly that does more spins than that annoying bodyboarder at your local break.