Fish, on the Gold Coast and clearly not enjoying life at all.

Paul Fisher is a LA based former WQS surfer from the Gold Coast who has made a name himself via his blog and videos called Fish Tales at www.followthefish.tv Rude, lewd but crucially (mostly)  funny, Fisher has taken on the ASP Banquets, Trestles events and interviewed Kelly Slater with a microphone in the shape of a 10 inch black dildo. It's not for the feint hearted, but in an increasingly sanitised world of surf corp speak he stands out as at least being himself. A clip here we showed awhile back with Matt Wilkinson shows you what he is about:

Anyway he's done 20 questions for us and predictably, he doesn't hold back.

1) What is your greatest fear?

Losing my rod and tackle.

2) What was your most embarrassing moment?

Running into a pole knocking myself out calling some guy a fuckwit hahah.

3) Property aside, what’s the most expensive thing you’ve ever bought?

Holden club sport V8 machine. I had it for a week, then wrote the cunt off into a house and four cars.

4) What makes you unhappy?

Getting to a surf spot and it's dead flat can make me unhappy.

5) What’s the worst thing anyone has ever said to you?

Hahahah are you kidding? There is so many of them. This morning I got called a fuckwit by my best mate Hippo.

6) Who would play you in the film of your life?

Patrick Swayze in his prime.

7) Who are your celebrity parents?

Gene Wilder from Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. People always say he is my Dad.

8) What do you most dislike about your appearance?

I got a pretty massive honker. Maybe we could shed some bark off it.

9) To who would you most like to say sorry to and why?

Probably my mum for being such a mongrel growing up. So sorry mum, but I know you loved it.

10) Which living person do you most despise and why?

Mikala Jones cause the guy is like 90 years old and he doesn't age,  the Chinaman.

11) Who are your heroes?

Roger Federer, Ron Jeremy, Usain Bolt, Russell Crowe and Andy Irons.

12) What has been your biggest disappointment?

When I didn't get to ride Space Mountain at Disneyland cause it was shut down for the day. I was losing it.

13) If you could go back in time where would you go?

I would go back to Rome and be a fucking gladiator and just take fuckers down in the Coliseum...

14) When was the last time you had sex? How’d it go?

Last time I had sex was with my girl and yes it is always fun rumbling in the jungle with her.

15) Tell us a joke.

What does barbie use for a tampon? A tic tac.

16) Tell us a secret.

Well it just wouldn't be a secret now would it!!!!

17) What song would you like played at your funeral?

Boom boom shake the room Tic tick boom.

18) Who is the worst person to surf a heat against?

Haven't surfed a heat in a while, but fuck I know some irritants to surf with. Luke Davis invites you to go surf with him then doesn't speak to you the whole session and hassles ya. Dingo may as well have a stiff neck cause he ain't looking.

19) What piece of advice would you give your 15-year-old self?

Keep doing what ya doing.

20) Complete the sentence. If I ruled the world...

If I ruled the world I would be world champ at every sport. I would take Richard Branson’s island off him and make Adriana Lima my maid and prince Harry and William my butlers. I would have the Victorian Secret models feed me breakfast, lunch and dinner whilst Halle Berry and Natalie Portman bathed me listening to Lana Del Rey sing to me all day in a thong. Yes life would be grand.