Washed in by a rogue waist high set, Stokesy came in and demanded an inflatable lycra with the air of an on-set P Diddy demanding a bowl of white Skittles. Photo: www.animal.co.uk

Do you have any plans to surf a wave over head high before you retire…?

After I retire I plan to ride a lot of belly boards so most waves then will be overhead. I’m not even joking about this, ply wooden belly boards are the bomb.

Having the name ‘Stokes’ is pretty cool for a pro surfer, it kind of tell us what you do. Do you reckon you’d still be sponsored if you were called ‘Alan Cabletie’?

Alan is quite unpopular and boring…

Yeah but what about the name?

Haha yeah the name Alan dampens the impact a little… and no I dont think I would be sponsored if my name was different, you can’t put a price tag on the name Stokes.

When you drive into town after a weekend at Trago Mills and see the ‘Europe’s Finest Surfing Beaches’ sign on the Newquay city limits, how do you feel?

It’s a classic sign and I do feel a sense of pride and shed the odd tear when I drive past it but Europe’s finest I’m not sure about that one, it’s like a full on Adriano claim isn’t it.

You’ve had long hair and short hair at various stages of your career. Any inside tips? Always separate conditioner, or sometimes a 2 in 1? Do you blow dry or towel after a surf? It is hard keeping body and shine in that damp, windy Cornish monsoon?

It’s all about the Cornish monsoon. In fact I should bottle that name and sell it, I would make a fortune.

Your social media sites are pretty big, although you never seem to instagram many sunsets like most pros… Is that because it’s always cloudy?

Oh is that what all the pro’s are doing these day. OK I’ve just instagramed a sunset especially for you guys.
(Note: he did instagram a sunset and the horizon was not obscured by 3 mile deep layer of cumulo nimbus… but it was taken in Morocco)

If Cornwall secedes from the Union, would you need a work permit to compete on the BPSA? Can you think of any other drawbacks?

I don’t know about a work permit but you definitely need a paddling permit. UK beaches can be the hardest paddle outs I’ve ever experienced. They break you before you have even caught a wave.

North Devon has cleverly rebranded itself as the ‘Gold Coast’. Do you see the Watergate to Pentire stretch more like the Margaret’s region? North Shore? Or the Bukit?

I would go with the Bukit, the similarities are uncanny.

Put the following Brit shredders in order of famousness: Ted Deerhurst, Sam Lamiroy, Alan Stokes, Andrew Ridgeley, Lee Bartlett, Prince Harry.

Prince Harry, Andrew Ridgeley, Ted, Lee, Sam and me.

Complete this sentence. ‘Sure, Kelly’s got the World Titles, the fame and the fortune, but Stokesy………………..”

Is the David Beckham of British pro surfing.

For other awesomeness about Alan, and a chance to peep the fine garments he models, check www.animal.co.uk