“The first time I stepped on the foil and did a downwinder, I instantly saw a glimpse of the future. This is the future!”

Kai Lenny has seen the future, and it is bright — brighter than a flaming meteor. The line-ups are full of SUP Hydro Foils and severed limbs, and people send each other texts wondering if they fancy “going for a downwinder this arvo?” But such fun!

Speaking of the apocalypse, “downwinder” — a lovely word — is also used to describe a person who lives downwind from a nuclear test site or reactor, where the risk from fallout is greatest. Hydro foils: there’s another thing you should try and keep upwind of.