“In this world nothing can be said to be certain,” wrote Founding Father Benjamin Franklin, “except death and taxes.” Samoa may be an offshore tax haven, topping the Financial Secrecy Index’s rankings of the world’s most secretive banking jurisdictions, but taxes needn’t necessarily be monetary, and the universal laws of nature still apply even in a tropical paradise. Of course Narabeen’s Jordy Lawler wasn’t in Samoa to avoid income tax, but he wasn’t there to plummet headfirst into the reef either. He managed to keep death at bay on a trip to the islands last year, but couldn’t escape the toll levied by the Samoan seabed. A pound of flesh, paid in full.