4. Be A Cunt
4. Be A Cunt
There can be no doubt about it: being a cunt pays dividends if you’re an unscrupulous bastard whose only concern is catching as many waves as possible.
Cuntish behaviour takes numerous forms, the most prominent of which is snaking and hassling in the line-up — shamelessly paddling directly back to the peak and pushing in front of surfers who have patiently been waiting their turn. This strategy really comes into its own at point breaks and reefs, or anywhere where the peak is clearly defined. It’s the moral equivalent of a drop-in but is sneakier and less flagrant, making it easier to get away with and easier to justify to yourself. If you employ this method indiscriminately, on your travels as well as at home, you are a terrible human being.
There are several greyish areas here, it’s true, although often people exploit them to excuse what deep down they know to be wrong. What if those sitting on the peak are letting set waves go by unridden, for instance, or aren’t actually sitting on the peak at all, but need to paddle further towards where the wave starts? What if they’re consistently falling on the take-off, or failing to make it round the first section and wasting wave after wave? Such situations can be awkward, but common sense and compromise will usually point towards a solution that’s satisfactory to all.
An often related and similarly effective form of cuntery is that of aggressive localism — verbally and even physically abusing outsiders, throwing rocks at them, smashing up their cars, dropping in on their every wave, and generally being so unpleasant as to deter unwanted visitors from ever returning. Many consider localism’s milder incarnations to be perfectly acceptable, even necessary, and most would agree that some kind of pecking order, favourable to those who have put in most hours at a particular break, is a good thing. But perhaps the most important thing here is consistency; treating visiting surfers with the utmost disdain when at home and then expecting to be given the pick of the set-waves when abroad is the height of hypocrisy.
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