“Everyone has to understand it was an incomplete manoeuvre, it’s worth nothing,” says WSL Head Judge Richie Porta of the most controversial manoeuvre since Floatergate.

What’s been hailed by some as the most outrageous feat of skill and ingenuity ever seen in competition, yet worth less than a handful of Zimbabwean dollars in the WSL’s rigged economy. “You corrupt bastards!” shout legions of surf fans, armed to the teeth and baying for blood. Because, let’s face it, conspiracy theories are fun.

“I’m not too worried about it,” shrugs Kelly Slater. “I don’t know why so many people are, to be honest with you.”

He, Richie and Ross chew what’s left of the fat.